A suggestion: (be warned a long post and can be seen as a mini sermon)

Perhaps regular reminders of this (ie the rules) could be sent to members via PM. Like the way Steve Brooks of magic cafe does for his special announcements. This way no one will jump to the conclusion that he / she is being targetted.

The "rules" are quite clear but I think sometimes people forget or just plain ignore them. Bad side of human nature. :(

Perhaps too some reminders every now and then about net etiquette. For example, when I first used the net (long ago), I never knows that using CAPS equates yelling. What I though was emphasis (good intention) turned out to be taken as just being plain rude.

Also, I think it needs to be emphasized that posting by the nature of its words cannot convey certain communicateive aspects of conversation that face to face conversation can. This has often created problems.
I have noticed this in many forums, e-mail lists etc that I have joined (and left) for more than 10 years.
A genuine piece of advice can be taken to be patronising.
A criticism of a method or an expression of a view is taken to be a personal attack. We seem to have difficulty differentiating between a person and his views.

This is not just primarily an Asian / Malaysian problem though Asians seem to be more affected. (I know as I have to work very hard and deliberately to overcome this). If for example, someone criticises (even constructive criticises) something I did and offers advice, I often find it hard to keep a proper perspective that it is not an attack on who I am as a person but my actions. I know it is hard as even among senior adults etc, I sometimes get questioned as to why I support an idea from someone who might be seen as personally against me. It's hard to explain that I am not being naive but TRYING to remain true to myself. A person may "suck" but if his words are true, then I need to accept the truth despite not liking the person.

I have note that if I have personally met and know someone (and understand his heart etc) then when that person seemingly says something negative, I will naturally give him the benefit of the doubt. And this includes times when he is actually saying something negative about me.

BTW, I am no angel.
I have been told by a number of people that when I get started on something close to my heart, I become very vocal, (loud and passionate) and for those who do not know me well, it can come across as just plain arrogance. I know this because this is how some of these people labelled me when they first met me. Later on when they got to know me better, they candidly revealed this to me. Of course it hurt like mad and it is also a bit humiliating to realise this, but hey, I had to learn (and am still learning) this lesson. Among close friends, I can rave and rant like a mad man at them when I am upset BUT they don't get upset with me for long. Why, cos they know me. (Just like when some husbands and wives fight - but peace comes soon after)

When it comes to internet posting, what is seemingly objective and well meaning can be read very differently by different parties. This happened to me at the magic cafe. I pointed out with good intentions, with clear objectives facts based on someone's posts that he was being deceptive, and advised him not to go about that way (he was only 16) as that was not the way to go if he wanted others to help him grow in the area of magic. I also affirmed him in every possible truthful way, giving him the benefit of the doubt that while his actions were clearly wrong, his motives may have been confused. Half the posts supported my stand and likewise affirmed him and gave him advice BUT the other half came down hard on me and often in not so polite terms.

Since then, I am very war of posting on the Magic cafe and try to limit my posts to certain special forums only or have personal conversations with selected individuals. I would hate to see people at MMF following something similar and helpful posts staet drying up

What I am saying is that regular reminders on etiquette, the rules of this forum etc might be helpful. If there are too many outbursts that include profanity and personal attacks, good people who can really help us in the area of magic will leave the fourm - it will be our lost and more will follow suit.

On Anslem Roy - it is as I have posted in another post encouraging you all to join the magic annexe. He is a gentleman true and true and a very detailed person. . He gains nothing from helping budding magicians. In the few months I have known him, including in personal e-mails, conversations etc. he is a consumate professional. I believe he has strong views and will not hesitate to criticise but he never attacks the person as a person but the actions of the person, (though it may not seem so on the surface).

Have a blessed day :)

p/s Note we have had quite a few misunderstandings since MMF started.

Yes, tat's is true Paul. There's surely some misunderstanding going on here. sigh. People misundertood people's comment, take it the wrong way and start firing people. I think for the future, if u want to say something bad abt another person, PM him and settle ya stuff. Dont have to publish it to the whole world lol...

Anyway, can we let bygones be bygones? Learn to forgive each other. C'mmon, people make mistakes... we are all human. To those that I offended in someway or another, forgive me. I am just doing my job for the better of this forum.

Yes, lets continue to grow together. Have a blessed day!
Brendan

Here is my bit from the other end of the world.

Brendan, you have a good point about the Personal Messaging thing. You seem like a positive influence on this board. So keep it up!

I agree with Paul that the problem is not mainly confined to Asians/Malaysians, although I will not take it that far to say Asians seem to be most affected. If anything, my experience with some of the magicians here seem to show the same problem. Worse or not, hard to say since I have do not have enough experience with Malaysian magicians to compare.

I will tell you right now one thing though. There are very, VERY few magicians here I can actually trust, let alone even call a "friend". Of those few I can actually call friends, I treasure. Generous, humble, crazy people. Every now and then, we would get together and engage in mutual constructive criticisms, sharing of ideas, joking around, you name the lot. Always a good time.

Of course I wish there were more people like that that I can do it with, but it's an ideal. The reality seems to be that a majority of magicians (at least over here) on the whole seem to be an ultra-sensitive lot when it comes to criticisms, even constructive ones. Like Paul said, some take it as a very personal attack. Didn't matter whether you meant well, or not. To them, you criticize their material, you criticize THEM!

It almost seem like they live in their own little world separate from reality. Sometimes I am tempted to ask what they have been smoking, but I will probably just get some heat over it! :D Maybe one day when I am in a sarcastic mood, I may just do it to see how they react. Hey, partly a live study of human reactional behaviour, and partly a source of amusement!

Anyway, there is also this weird (or amusing?) unwritten rule about competition winners being eternally immune to criticisms. Why? Because they won one or a few trophies or awards. Didn't matter if they were 17 years old going against a 6 year old kid! Go figure. They win a trophy, they are the world's BEST magician! I know a few that think so high of themselves, they don't ever make mistakes. And as far as they are concerned, you will never in this lifetime ever measure up to them.

So there you go. Reality is the magic world is pretty much a male-dominated field. Which also means two things - testosterone and ego. I have seen enough big egos, condescending attitudes, badmouthing, and backstabbing to last me a lifetime. It's a very negative thing, and a total waste of valuable time... time that could have been very well spent on PRACTICING! Now isn't that a lot more positive? :)

Think about it. To wrap it all up, I could choose to view all the above in a negative perspective, or I could choose to turn it into an opportunity. :P If they decide to continue with their bad self, who am I to complain? Hey, more customers for me! ;)

i don't know if it's sad or amusing that i always see a lot of names who never contribute even a single post.